I pray several aspects for my family including myself every morning. One of them is "endurance/patience." When you cannot realize what our LORD is planning and executing, just stand before God patiently as Moses and the Israelites did before the Red Sea. We are sure He is doing something for His people.
Oswald Chambers says:
"The discipline of dismay is an essential necessity in the life of discipleship. The danger is to get back to a little fire of our own and kindle enthusiasm at it (cf. Isaiah 50:10–11 ). When the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come that following of Jesus which is an unspeakable joy." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, March 15.
Hang in there! God will speed up to rescue you! Hand over the steer to the LORD!